Dear Koren,
I’m a 16-year-old girl in fifth form and I’m from what y’all would consider to be a rough village. I have a lot of friends who use marijuana, sleep with men to get school stuff and who have wicked step parents and I feel like the adults around us just don’t get it.
It seems like in school, church and on social media there are adults passing judgment on young people like me, assuming they know what’s best for us without even bothering to listen to our side of the story. They’re quick to criticise our choices, our behaviour, our way of dress, etc, without taking the time to understand the challenges we face every day.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m constantly being judged and misunderstood, to feel like my voice doesn’t matter because I’m “just a teenager”. I have hopes, dreams, and struggles just like everyone else. For real. I want to be heard, respected, and treated like an individual with my own thoughts and feelings.
What frustrates me even more is the hypocrisy I see in some of these adults. They preach about honesty and helping young people and caring, and yet they are the first ones to pass judgments and jump to conclusions about young people they barely know. Like you see someone run away and the first thing you gonna say is she gone to look man? Like really? It’s like they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young and they ignore how some of their friends treat their own teenage children.
Please ask the adults in Antigua to try to understand us before they judge us. Take the time to listen to our stories and our struggles. We may not always do the right thing, but we deserve to be treated with some kinda consideration just like anyone else.
Young Lady
Dear Young Lady,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts with me. It’s clear that you’re feeling frustrated and disheartened by the way some adults in Antigua are treating young people like yourself. I want you to know that your feelings are valid and that you’re not alone in experiencing this kind of judgment and misunderstanding. Some adults don’t get it right all the time and some are just as you described, but many adults do have your best interest at heart and are willing to listen.
I want you to know that your voice matters, and your experiences are valuable. You have every right to express yourself and to seek understanding and respect from those around you. While it may be difficult, try to find strength in your ability to voice your feelings, in the hopes you have of having a better life for yourself, in the ability to educate yourself so that you have more options and opportunities and in the support of those who truly care about you.
Find adults who care. There are adults who are consistent and who genuinely want to help. Just this week I was at a secondary school talking to some young persons who are being mentored by alumni of the same school. Ask your principal if your school has such a programme.
Think of aunts who encourage you. Consider joining Pathfinders, girl guides, a sports team, a music or drama group or some other group where you will find adults who are interested in your wellbeing and other youth who are seeking better.
Remember that you are not defined by the judgments of others, and that you have the power to rise above them. Keep advocating for yourself and for other young people who may be feeling the same way. Together, we can work towards creating a more empathetic and caring community where everyone’s voices are heard and where our youth can receive the support they deserve.
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