Is it true that we all have generational baggage? Some people are conscious of the inheritance, especially when they justify their behaviour or mindset with familiar words like, “Ah Mary pickney me be”.
Life coach Jetahn Johnson describes generational baggage as “repeated patterns that happen within a family from older to younger generation either in lifestyles, life choices, relationships, finances or all of the above”.
So, the big question is, “What negative traits have we inherited from our mother, father, grandparents or great grandparents that are making life real difficult for us right now?”
You may not be able to identify them immediately, but today we’re going to discuss how a few traits continue to wreck relationships and limit potential. Let’s shift our attention to intergenerational violence.
As the Department of Youth Affairs collected data for the National Youth Policy in 2021, the issue of intergenerational violence emerged. Young people reminisced about incidents of physical punishment—unspeakable occurrences etched in the back of their minds.
They labelled them as “unpleasant memories”, “endless blows”, and “murder” that resurfaced occasionally. Initially, the young parents said they vowed not to perpetuate the cycle of violence, but somehow their children suffered the same fate.
It’s very difficult to unlearn certain behaviours. Guidance Counsellor Renata Joseph probably described it best when she stated that parents who are yet to heal from their own childhood trauma “cannot give what they have not received”.
Don’t be quick to retaliate. Please note that many times, mothers and fathers cannot parent effectively because of overweight or excess generational baggage. As she presented on the topic “Discipline Our Children with Love”, Counsellor Joseph emphasised that the motive for correction should always be love and corporal punishment should always be a last resort.
However, the example above showed that relationships can be marred by intergenerational violence. As Bandura highlighted in his social learning theory, children observe, model and imitate quite well. The young parents who attempted to break the cycle had already internalised the violent domestic culture.
But the good news is that there is hope. Researchers suggested that expanding services for parents already exposed to violence may build resilience and break the inter-generational cycle of disadvantage.
Seventeen-year-old André McIntosh declared, “A ‘curse’ doesn’t determine your future or destiny.” He’s of the view that spiritual warfare is the best antidote for generational baggage which he equates to a generational curse.
André told YouthZone that God, the ultimate destiny changer, can “help break any curse”. And that includes Abraham Maslow’s Jonah Complex—the fear of one’s own greatness, evasion of one’s own destiny.
This psychological baggage is deadly because it kills generational progress. Despite having “a depth and breadth of talent,” many people never reach their fullest potential.
Reliving the experiences of family members, “They harbour an innate personal belief like that of the biblical figure of Jonah: They fear their potential. The potential they have remains dormant. The person is alive, but never fully lives,” said author Raymond Calabrese.
This is why schools must be environments of change. Calabrese declared that these institutions should “raise levels of aspiration among faculty, students, and staff” and make it comfortable for them to “grow, change, and embrace new challenges…Creating a school full of psychologically, physically, and spiritually healthy people generates conditions for continuous renewal,” he posited.
André also suggested that victims of generational curses seek assistance as they try to unpack their baggage. While family support is always critical, he acknowledged that trustworthy peers may also be beneficial.
André’s advice is in line with the recommendations of life coach and English podcaster Jay Shetty. Once you have identified the negative pattern, he insisted that you ask for help and make space to deal with the baggage, even if it’s longer than a 21-day fix. You may require professional help too.
And this brings us to another generational baggage called bad-mind. It manifests itself in gossip, covetousness and animosity for individuals who are only guilty of making progress.
Commonly used in the Caribbean, the term bad-mind reverberates in all settings. Even the “thief neva like fi see thief with long bag”.
We must be careful of how we entertain and converse, especially in the presence of impressionable youth. They tend to emulate the behaviour of their parents or guardians and find pleasure in undermining others. Sometimes we breed unfounded hatred that can lead current and future generations down dark paths.
That’s why it is so important to surround yourselves with positive people. André wants to see more active social groups in church that will create genuine fellowship and engage young people in meaningful activities.
We all can now agree that greater emphasis needs to be placed on the strategic management of generational baggage, which may incur significant costs if left unchecked.
