Dear Koren,
I’m writing because I feel very overwhelmed by the rising cost of living here in Antigua, and it’s starting to take a serious toll on my mental health. I’m a single parent of three children and as the prices of basic necessities keep going up, it’s becoming harder and harder to make ends meet. Between rent, groceries, utilities and school supplies, I sometimes feel like I’m sinking. It’s not just about the financial burden; the constant stress of trying to keep everything together is exhausting.
I’ve been trying to stay positive for the sake of my children because they are so happy and loving, but the pressure keeps mounting, and there are days when I feel like giving up. I don’t have a lot of family here and I’m not going to take a man to help and end up with more stress. I know my kids rely on me, and that’s what keeps me going, but it’s not easy.
Do you have any advice for managing the stress of being a single parent in this day and age? I know most of the country are concerned about crime and I am too, but now it’s about ensuring my kids eat and not feeling overwhelmed every single day. How can I find a way to keep moving forward when everything seems to be getting harder? I just want to give my kids the best life I can, but right now it feels like an impossible task.
Tired single mom
Dear mom,
First, let me say that it takes a strong woman to raise three children alone without a large support system and your strength is admirable. Being a single parent is challenging enough, but facing the rising cost of living with little family support adds an entirely different level of pressure.
I truly hear you when you say it’s exhausting to keep everything together, especially when your kids rely on you so deeply. I hope you take a moment to recognise the amazing job you’re already doing for them despite the hardships.
Now, let’s talk about managing the stress. Life may feel overwhelming right now, but there are practical steps that could help ease some of the weight you’re carrying.
If you haven’t already, creating a basic budget might help. Knowing where your money goes and finding small ways to save can help you feel more in control. When you look at your spending, you might be able to see where you can tweak some things.
When grocery shopping, look for what is on sale and use low-cost but healthy options that are more affordable. It is also helpful to talk to the children about the fact that you are living on a budget now, so snacks can be limited to one per day, lights should be turned off when not in use and so on.
Make it a fun game instead of a stressful situation so they can all see who can manage without the least amount of snacks, etc. As it relates to clothing, quite a number of places in Antigua sell gently used clothing if you don’t mind that. Consider also connecting with a local farmer who can sell you produce at cost price.
Consider how you can increase your income. With three children, I imagine it would be hard to go out and do a second job but maybe you can do something else at home – babysitting for someone else, braiding hair or making something to sell – something that will bring in some extra income. Or you can ask about a raise at work.
You mentioned not having much family around, and I completely understand how isolating that can feel. Consider connecting with other single parents or joining one of the many churches in Antigua, if you haven’t already. Most churches have programmes for youth and children, which can keep them engaged and also help you with building a support system.
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed when you’re thinking about the entire future at once. Setting small, achievable goals can help you feel less overwhelmed. For example, can you dedicate 30 minutes to planning meals for the week? Breaking down tasks into manageable steps can make a big difference.
Lastly, remember to sometimes focus on what is going well. The children are happy and loving and that’s a plus. You are being creative and solution-oriented and that’s another plus. Gratitude helps us to see the positive even in spite of the challenges.
Please take care of yourself. It could be by taking a walk, stretching, reading a book or having a little dance party; find something that makes you smile. Your well-being is essential because your children thrive when you’re emotionally healthy.
You are doing the best you can with what you have, and that’s more than enough. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep asking for help from the right people or places when necessary. You’re a warrior for your children, and they’re so lucky to have you.
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