The holidays are a time for joy, togetherness, and love—but let’s be honest, they can also be a little stressful. For many, family gatherings come with a side dish of unsolicited questions and comments:
- “When are you getting married?”
- “Why haven’t you had kids yet?”
- “You’ve gained some weight, haven’t you?”
Hearing these questions can turn a festive moment into a stressful one, leaving you feeling self-conscious or defensive. If you’re bracing for these interactions or struggling emotionally during the holidays, you’re not alone. Here’s how to manage these moments with grace while also taking care of yourself this season.
Respond with grace and if appropriate, even a touch of humour. When family members ask intrusive questions, it often comes from a place of love or curiosity, even if it’s not expressed kindly. Here are a few ways to respond without letting it ruin your day:
Redirect them – “That’s a great question! Speaking of big plans, have you heard about my recent new job/hobby/trip?”
Use humour – “Oh, I didn’t realise there was a deadline on these things! Maybe I missed the memo.”
Set boundaries – “I appreciate your concern, but I’m focusing on what’s best for me right now.”
These responses keep the tone light but still communicate that certain topics are off-limits.
Prepare for questions by thinking of topics you’re comfortable discussing. If you sense a tricky subject coming up, steer the conversation toward:
- A recent accomplishment or passion project.
- Shared family memories or holiday traditions.
- Questions about them—people love talking about themselves!
If certain relatives always bring up uncomfortable topics, it’s okay to limit your time around them. You don’t need to subject yourself to conversations that leave you drained. Spend more time with supportive family members or friends, and don’t be afraid to excuse yourself for a breather if things get too overwhelming. Protect your peace at all costs.
I know that not everyone looks forward to the season. Whether you’re missing loved ones, facing financial stress, or just feeling emotionally low, know that it’s okay to not feel “merry and bright” all the time.
Here are a few ways to nurture yourself:
Create your own traditions. If old traditions feel painful or outdated, start new ones that bring you joy.
Limit social media if that makes it harder. Seeing others’ “perfect” holiday photos can add to feelings of inadequacy. Remember, social media rarely shows the full story.
Reach out and connect with someone. Whether it’s a close friend, a support group, or a therapist, talking to someone who understands can ease the burden.
Practice gratitude: Even small joys—a warm cup of hot chocolate, a favorite song, or a good book—can help shift your perspective.
Remember, the holidays aren’t about having the perfect body, life milestones, or Instagram-worthy moments. They’re about connection and love. Be kind to yourself, and try to see the good intentions behind others’ actions, even when they miss the mark. If you find yourself feeling isolated, consider giving back. Volunteering or helping someone in need can be a powerful reminder of how much you have to offer and can bring a deep sense of fulfillment.
The holidays can be complicated, but they’re also an opportunity to practice self-love and strengthen relationships. By setting boundaries, redirecting conversations, and showing compassion for yourself, you can navigate family gatherings with grace and enjoy the season in your own way.
Remember, it’s your holiday too. Celebrate it in a way that makes you feel happy and whole. And if things get tough, take a deep breath and remind yourself: you’re doing the best you can—and that’s enough.
Wishing you peace, joy, and love this holiday season!
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