By Charminae George
When many people think of etiquette, perhaps the thought of a fancy dish eaten with a knife and fork at a restaurant comes to mind. For others, it’s the ability to walk with a good posture, smile and conduct conversations that carefully steer away from controversial topics.
However, there’s one form of etiquette that is as important as all of the above, and it’s disability etiquette.
Essentially, it’s guidelines to keep in mind when communicating with and about persons with disabilities.
There’s one particular thing that is contrary to disability etiquette and, although done with good intentions, it’s not too respectful to an individual with a disability. It’s the act of helping a person with a disability without asking to make sure that they indeed need help.
Bernard Warner, President of the Antigua and Barbuda Association of Persons with Disabilities (ABAPD), outlined a way of helping such individuals in a respectful manner.
“There’s nothing wrong with walking up to someone and being polite [saying] ‘good morning/good afternoon, how are you? I observe that you’re having some challenges. May I ask what type of challenge you have?’ … and then from that engagement you can offer your help,” he told Observer yesterday.
President of the local non-profit Good Humans 268 and disability advocate, Joshuanette Francis, echoed a similar sentiment.
“You need to ask that person, ‘do you want my help?’, ‘can I assist you?’, before touching that person, before touching their mobility aid,” she said.
Why? Well, think of it as a stranger walking up to you and taking the shopping bag you’re holding. Of course, you would later find out they were trying to help, but wouldn’t you be startled or irritated at first?

Another thing to keep in mind is the method of inquiring about a person’s disability.
“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. It’s not what you say, but how you say it,” Warner pointed out.
He said he’s always open to having that conversation because the genuine interest is uplifting and allows for constructive discussions. However, others may be a bit more guarded.
“When you find someone who has shown interest and compassion, I like to engage. Not everyone would at first glance … but still engage the individual,” he added.
Francis indicated there is a possibility that some persons will be unable to share their experience due to the fact that they’re still processing the situation.
“It has been three years since my fight with [a local restaurant], and year one to year two, I could not speak about it without crying,” she shared, referring to losing her job after an osteoarthritis diagnosis.
Additionally, there are special dos and don’ts of language used to refer to persons with disabilities, according to the Disability-Inclusive Language Guidelines drafted by the United Nations Office at Geneva.
Euphemisms, including ‘differently abled’ and ‘disAbility’, are highly discouraged as they can be considered patronising. Also discouraged are ‘disabled person’, ‘handicapped’, ‘person with special needs’ and ‘person living with a disability’.
Recommended language includes ‘person with disability’, ‘person with [type of impairment]’, and ‘persons with disabilities’.
More information on disability-inclusive language and the document detailing the language, can be found at https://www.ungeneva.org/en/about/accessibility/disability-inclusive-language
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that one in six persons – or 1.3 billion people – of the world’s population experience a significant disability.
