Dear Koren,
I was promised something by a very prominent lady. I had helped her daughter who is around my age with her work and I also took the blame for her in a situation. It turned out okay. However, this lady who was so grateful to me and promised to help me kept saying she was busy or travelling or something else whenever I contact her. It was always an excuse. I now tired asking and chasing and calling her and I am wondering if I should remind her that I helped her child or call her daughter instead to see if she could get her mother to help me as promised. I feel so hurt and like if I am not important to them anymore. What should I do.
Dear Writer,
It really is disheartening when people do not keep promises that are made. It also hurts when you remember that you were there for them when they needed you. It is not a good feeling to have to be behind of someone who should have been happy to help you, the way you helped her daughter.
Is the daughter aware that her mother made these promises to you? If she is aware and she is easier for you to reach, then it would be a good idea to let her know you are trying to reach her mother without much success. Depending on what was promised, she might be able to fulfil it on her mother’s behalf, or at least be better able to get a hold of her own mother.
If the daughter was not aware, then she cannot be brought into the picture at this stage. You would either have to keep trying the mother or moving on and forgetting it. Send her a text if that option is available, letting her know that you are disappointed in her lack of response and would appreciate it if she can keep her word and if she is not able to right now, then at least to give you a time when she is able to. If it were me, I would probably let it go because this situation could cause a lot of frustration and resentment. But it’s up to you what you do.
I also want to tell you something about life and people. When people are in a desperate situation, they often make promises and sometimes, at the time, they do mean it. However, when their life gets back to normal, they often forget how they felt when things were spinning out of control and the persons who were there for them. Let this be a learning experience for you.
Be kind and generous, but don’t take any blame or any fall for anybody. Just don’t. Not only because people will forget, but it’s just not the right thing to do.
The other thing is that, people are not always reciprocal in good ways. We wish it were like that, but it is not. So make up your mind to do good, expecting nothing in return, otherwise you will be constantly disappointed. Choose your friends carefully and deal with them based on their own merit, rather than who their parents are.
Going forward, take this situation and let it be a learning experience for you. As they say, “stay woke” and don’t let anyone take advantage of your good heart.
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