Dear Koren,
Sometimes I just do not trust humans. Something happened to me at work and I’m not sure how to handle it. I recently shared a suggestion with a coworker during a conversation, thinking we could brainstorm together. To my surprise, she presented the exact idea during a team meeting as her own, taking full credit for it in front of our manager. I felt blindsided and disappointed, especially since the idea was well-received, and it could have been a great opportunity for me to shine. Since then, she has talked to me normally and doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. Should I confront her and ask why she took credit for my idea? Or should I go straight to my manager and explain the situation? I don’t want to seem petty or jeopardise the team dynamics, but I also feel it’s important to stand up for myself. How can I address this situation professionally while ensuring my contributions are recognized in the future?
Feeling undermined
Dear Undermined,
Wow! Your coworker is not easy at all. I completely understand how frustrating and disheartening it must feel to see your ideas just shared without being acknowledged for it. Maybe she sincerely forgot it came from you. Before you react, take a moment to reflect on the situation. Did your coworker intentionally present the idea as her own, or could there have been a misunderstanding? Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, people share what they remember without remembering where it came from. Here’s what I suggest:
Schedule a private chat with your coworker to express how you feel. You might say something like, “I noticed you shared the idea I mentioned to you in the meeting. I remember discussing it with you and I was hoping we could present it together.” This approach gives her a chance to explain or acknowledge her oversight without putting her on the defensive. If your coworker admits to the mistake and apologizes, you might agree on how to handle similar situations in the future and you might also want to minimize how much you share with her. If she seems dismissive or doesn’t give your concern the importance it deserves, then you could consider escalating the matter.
Speak to your manager if necessary. When addressing your manager, focus on your contributions rather than accusing your coworker. For instance, “I wanted to share some thoughts on the idea discussed in the last meeting. I’d been working on this concept, and I’d like to elaborate on how it could benefit the team.” This allows you to reclaim your work without seeming confrontational.
Please establish boundaries moving forward. To prevent a repeat, consider sharing ideas in team settings or via email, ensuring there’s a documented trail. You can also collaborate with coworkers in ways that allow you to maintain visibility, such as jointly presenting ideas. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure your contributions are recognised while fostering a positive and professional work environment. Standing up for yourself doesn’t have to mean creating conflict—it’s about communicating your value clearly and confidently.
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