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Saturday, 23 October, 2021
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It is a helluva thing

This past Monday was a helluva day, not only here in Antigua and Barbuda, but in every corner of this global village that we call ‘earth.’ Seems, a major technical glitch caused Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp to be out of service for roughly six hours, much to the annoyance and unhappiness of WhatsApp addicts and Facebook freaks all over the globe.  Many had to be treated for severe withdrawal illnesses.

To no one’s surprise here in our fair State, he of a high place was quite adversely affected, and had the outage persisted for much longer, there is really no telling what would have become of him. Suffice it to say, it would not have been pretty. As we all know, he of a high place is a social media junkie. This is the world that he relishes and inhabits. It is not difficult to imagine that he reaches for his electronic devices the minute that he opens his eyes, and the devices are the very last things that he puts down before he turns out the lights. It is also not a stretch to ponder that those devices get in the way of all sorts of critically important things such as being about the peoples’ business in a competent and statesmanlike manner. He is hooked! Much as was Donald Trump, another social media freak of the highest order, who was recently banned from the sites on account of his vile and inflammatory postings. It has been said that Trump is unraveling.

Anyway, there he was this past Monday, he of a high place, pacing back and forth in his office, checking his electronic devices every few minutes to see if the social media sites were back in service. Of course, much to his chagrin, they were not, and he became increasingly agitated and inconsolable. There were many teenage girls around the world who were feeling the same way. After all, there was so much to gossip about; so much ‘nearga business to mind’, so much melee to be shared; so many of their rivals and enemies, real and imagined, to be denigrated and ‘cussed-off.’ He of a high place could feel their pain. They could commiserate. After all, they were kindred spirits. Sigh!

Just imagine, the head honcho . . . presiding over a realm with a host of problems – giggling and titillating himself about trivial petticoat and panty issues, amusing himself, and the fools that bother to read his drivel, with people’s personal business, tickled by his vulgar and unseemly diatribes. Oh yes, when he of a high place is on a roll, good sense and common courtesy fly out the window.

The thing is that one would have thought that the righteous remnant – the solid few upright men and women in the party directorate, would be on hand to corral he of a high place – to caution him that the optics of him behaving like a market huckster on social media, cussin-off everybody, were exceedingly poor. But nay, they do not seem to have much gray matter, or they are so busy riding the gravy boat that they dare not rock it, or where there was once a spine, there is now a wet noodle in their anatomies, or they really don’t care. Sigh! An entire political party, and not a blessed soul has the gonads to say “Boo!”

Then again, it has been said that he of a high place will brook no dissenting opinions or bellyaching or ‘boohooing’. The suggestion is that he has often told those that are beholden to him that when he wants their opinion, he will give it to them. Even those who have dared to ‘think,’ he has cautioned them that too much ‘thinking’ will give them a headache, and they ought to leave all the ‘thinking’ to him.  They have been guided accordingly.

The Mighty Sparrow sums up he of a high place quite caustically in, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE: “This land is mine, I am the boss / What I say goes, and who vex get lorse / . . . I am going to do what I feel to do / And I couldn’t care who vex or who get blue / . . . Who de hell is you to jump and quarrel / Look, this party is mine, lock, stock and barrel / Who give you de privilege to objeck / Pay your dues, shut up and have respeck / I am a tower of strength yes, I am powerful but modest / Unless I am forced to be blunt and ruthless / So shut up and don’t squawk, this ain’t no skylark / When I talk, no damn dog bark / My word is law, so what’s your case? / If you slip you slide, this is my place . . .” Sigh!

The stricken social media sites came back into service on Monday evening, and he of a high place, the inveterate texter, was ecstatic. He could merrily go back to the serious matters of State, that is, badmouthing and cussin’. OMG!!! SMH!!! It is a helluva thing – the social media fix!

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