Dear Koren
I have a distant neighbour that has been borrowing my pot for over a year now. I usually feel that if somebody has to borrow something more than 2-3 times, it’s time for them to get one for themselves. But this person seems very comfortable calling to say that she’s gonna come for “the pot” – like it belongs to her. I don’t mean to be Scrooge-like but I am tired of her now, she’s using my pot more than me! The thing is, I’m afraid that if I say something, it will cause hostility.
And just in case you’re wondering, I don’t borrow things from her. I don’t make it a habit to borrow things from people.
So how do I get her to stop borrowing my pot?!!
Dear Borrowed-Pot Owner,
First of all, you’re a saint for letting this pot-borrowing go on for a year! I mean, who knew your pot was the most popular guest in the neighborhood? But I get it—your pot needs some time with its rightful owner and she might be cooking things in your pot that you don’t cook or eat. While it’s nice to be neighbourly, boundaries have to be set, especially when someone is overdoing. Here’s a game plan to reclaim your cookware without sparking a kitchen feud:
1. The Subtle Hint: Next time she calls, tell her you’re about to use the pot yourself. Even if you’re planning on eating leftovers, make it seem like you’ve suddenly become a culinary master. “Oh, I’m just about to whip up my famous seasoned fungi. Maybe it’s time you got a pot of your own for all those delicious meals you’re making?”
2. The Gifting Gambit: With her birthday (or any random holiday) coming up, gift her a pot. Wrap it up nicely and say, “I noticed you love using mine so much, I thought you’d appreciate having your own!” It’s a win-win—she gets a pot, and you get yours back. Do this only if you can afford it.
3. The Strategic Store Run: Invite her to join you for a trip to Chef World or Townhouse Mega store or Shouls or wherever else sells pots. While there, point out some great pots and suggest how amazing they’d be for her cooking. “Look at this one! It’s just like mine, but even better!”
4. The Bold Approach: If all else fails, be honest but kind. “I’ve noticed you borrow my pot quite a bit. I don’t mind helping out occasionally, but I think it’s time for you to get one of your own.” Sometimes, a little directness is necessary.
Remember, you can always add a touch of humor to soften the blow. “My pot’s starting to think it’s yours! I might need to start charging it rent.” It is important for you to set boundaries which will help to keep this relationship civil and at the same time, send the message that you are not the community charity house.
Wishing you luck in your culinary reclaiming mission!
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