Global warming

The hottest topic of conversation these days is the question of Global Warming or Climate Change. Indeed, recently in Peru, world representatives were gathered in an attempt to hammer out an agreement to solve the supposed warming of the earth. Think Tower of Babel. It’s an exercise in futility.

A few weeks ago in New York, there was the largest march ever for action to combat global warming. The event was headlined by a group of celebrities including Leonardo DiCaprio who arrived via his private jet. Never mind that these Lear jets spew millions of cubic feet of Co2 into the atmosphere and are big-time polluters. The irony however was lost on DiCaprio. Hey Leo, since you are so concerned with carbon emissions, why not ditch the private yacht and the Lear jet and use a horse-and-cart? And what makes you and Al Gore the authorities on Global Warming? And how much money is Al Gore, a big-time polluter himself, making from his ‘doom and gloom’ schemes?

According to the ‘Chicken Little’ crowd, “the science is settled”; the debate is over. Global warming is an irrefutable fact and human fossil-fuel emissions are responsible. They claim that we are ‘Doubting Thomases’ who, much like the doubters in Columbus’ day, ignore science at our peril. End of argument.

But any scientist worth his petri dish will tell you that science is never settled. The more we think we know, the more it becomes clear how little we know. For example, there was a time when science declared that Caucasians, Negroids and Mongoloids were each descended from separate seeds. Turns out that we are all descended from one seed in Africa. (Hmmm! Genesis, anyone?)

For years, scientists told us that the universe was always in existence; they now say that the universe had a definite beginning. (Hmmm! Genesis, again!) I tell you, science is never settled. At one time, red wine is bad, then it’s good. Eggs are bad, then they are good, butter is bad then it is good.

Galilio was laughed at then, he was declared a genius. Stomach ulcers are caused by stress and diet. Turns out they are caused by bacteria. Cell phones cause brain cancer. No, they don’t. Laptops can cause sterility. No, they are safe. The earth’s crust does not move. Wait a minute, it does. Don’t wash your face with soap. Wash it with soap. Hang on a sec, 10 years from now they might declare that we should wash our faces with ‘tambran stew’.

I am a firm believer that “necessity is the mother of invention”. I never doubt man’s ability to come up with solutions for humanity’s problems. Every generation, every age is sufficient unto itself. It is immoral and wrong to cripple development and industry today for a problem that may or may not occur years from now.

Consider the following facts: Average global temperatures have remained unchanged for the past 20 years despite increased fossil emissions. Scientists have skewered their computer models to greatly exaggerate the forecasts on warming and many of their dire predictions have failed to materialise. Furthermore, a ship carrying a group of scientists to Antarctica, to measure the supposed catastrophic level of melting ice, got stuck in the huge amounts of ice last winter. Go figure! (Lol)

Look, technological advancements are happening today in the blink of an eye. It is presumptuous in the extreme to think that the computing capabilities that we have today are sufficient for the problems that will come up in the future. Indeed, the folks in the next century will look back at us and marvel at our puny computing power and our lame focus on attempting to make the world perfect for them. Every generation will come up with its own solutions; they will invent that which is needed.

We need to focus on real problems today, not on some money-making attempt to shake down companies and cede more power to the United Nations and governments to control human behaviour and redistribute wealth. Let us pay attention to ISIS, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Ebola, famine, starvation, poverty. Police brutality. Governmental corruption in Africa. Russian muscle-flexing and aggression. Al Qaeda. These are the real  problems that need addressing.  All the other stuff is misguided huffing and puffing over the earth warming by one or two degrees one hundred years hence. Huffing and puffing indeed! The real global warming is the hot air that comes out of the mouths of public figures here and abroad.

I submit for your consideration the following examples of hot air polluting the environment: Hillary Clinton, a real political featherweight, says that “We need to empathise with our enemies; sympathise with them; see where they’re coming from blah, blah, blah.” Meanwhile, Boko Haram kidnaps nearly 300 schoolgirls. ISIS beheads little boys because they refuse to renounce Christianity. They behead their captives, threaten Obama and the rest of the world’s infidels. Wow! And we must empathise! Yeah, right! Talk about sympathy for the devil.

President Obama, another weak, naïve, misguided leader; he of a million promises and grandiose pronouncements: “We are the ones we have been waiting for … the tide of war is receding … blah, blah, we have the terrorists on the run … We will make the planet heal and the waters recede … We have a million shovel-ready jobs … We will close Guantanamo Bay … We will reset relations with Russia … All the world’s problems are caused by Bush … I didn’t know about the IRS, Benghazi or VA scandals until I read about them in the paper … If you like your doctor you can keep him; if you like your insurance, you can keep it … ISIS is a junior varsity organization. No problem here … Iran is not a problem. I can charm the Mullahs … hot air!” He lives in a fantasy world, where he, His Most Worshipfulness, will charm all the bad actors in the world and get everybody together to hold hands and sing “Kumbahya”.

Of course, it is not only in the world abroad that the bleep is flying fast and furious and polluting the atmosphere. Right here in Antigua, we have some gems.

Consider. In response to a complaint about economic conditions in Antigua, a high-ranking political entity flippantly declares: “Tings nuh so hard! Ah wah wrong wid aryou? Ebrybady inna Antigua hab two cell phone blah, blah, blah …” Never mind that, er, the night-soil cart still does pick-ups and ‘current til shut-off a night-time’ in this, the 21st century.

Another entity was equally effusive: “Mista Speaka, t’ings so good inna foo-me canstituency dat even pussy a nyam salad. Hot air, hot air!” But you tell me, what good is that if pickin’ nearga all over dis blessed islan til-a walk roun wid dem barefoot and hungry belly?

Yet another entity declares “My family is experiencing so much hardship, what with my travels all over the world to seek investments and what not. It’s really tough on them. Blah, blah, blah.” Hey, you signed up for the job. Nobody forced you. You campaigned obsessively on that promise. Quit complaining! It’s the nature of the beast; it comes with the territory. As does the champagne and the caviar and the limousines and the first class suites. So pardon us if we are ‘not crying for you Argentina’. Your whining is akin to the Queen complaining that the royal crown with its rubies and diamonds give her a headache.

Yet still another entity, whilst engaged in a debate on the issue of “Women’s Equality”, eloquently declares a version of this: “If too muchy ooman become equal to man inna de work-place, then plenty man a goo ha fi go out a yard wid dem cutliss! … Hot air, hot air!”

Clearly, we need a strong Environmental Protection Agency to limit the bs; the methane; the cacophony of sound. I am persuaded that the pablum that seeps out of the mouths of many public figures is the real assault on the environment and on our senses. Dat dey ah de real global warmin’!