EDITORIAL: Forecast: Heavy downpour of promises

According to the Political Meteorological Office (PMO), the forecast for the next few weeks is a mix of sunshine and clouds with heavy downpours of promises. Following that, we can all expect a drought. That drought will continue until the next general election.
In the many years of forecasting, the PMO has apparently never been wrong. The good men and women who work there have an en- viable track record of 100 percent accuracy. In fact, their track record is so good that they have offices glob- ally and have never been wrong in their predictions no matter the location or language. Amazing!
We got some early signs of the coming deluge recently, with reports of a localized shower of promises in the Golden Grove area. Word reaching our organization states that there was a flash flood of promises at the Antigua State College (ASC) and students and faculty were left gasping for air. The tertiary level education facility has seen its fair share of promises flooding its cam- pus, but a good money- drainage system, combined with frequent droughts usu- ally clear the premises of any chance of the promises growing.
That said, with the election soon upon us, they experienced one of the first drizzles. Well, it was a bit more than a drizzle. It lasted a while and people got soaked; or so we are told. Apparently, the purse strings of government will be loosened immediately, to address the issues faced by the students and faculty during the past drought and to restore infrastructure at the institution.  And, guess what? It is going to be ‘state of  the art’ stuff! So, you know that these were not easy promises.
It will be part of a multi- campus arrangement linking the Five Islands Campus, the Golden Grove Campus and the Coolidge Campus. Five Islands will also see US$10 million worth of promises dumped on that location. The land, we are led to be- lieve, will become so fertile that people from outside of the twin-island state will flock to our shores to drink from the pools of promises kept. It will be a sight to be- hold!
The downpour of promises are expected to wash clean the deteriorating infrastructure at ASC, especially the filthy bathrooms with no running water and mold. Unlike the many promises that have flowed through the institution in the past, these promises are apparently different and are expected to take root, grow and blossom. And that research center that has been under construction for about 10 years? The plan is to eventually baptize it in the river of promises that will overflow the location.
So, worry no more about falling ceiling tiles and gag- inducing bathrooms because the winds are blowing in the promise clouds and they are bursting at the seams. They may be dark and billowing, they may even look a bit ominous, but they will bring the sweet sounds of promises dancing a pitta patta on everyone’s head. We are sure that as the promises drench their faces and drip down their bodies, the students and faculty will feel that familiar chill as the wind whips the election.
Very soon, these  localized showers will become national    monsoons. Promises will fall from the sky in an endless stream.   It will be impossible for you to escape. No amount of umbrellas and raincoats will shield you when the sky bursts. Think of your most vexing issue. There will be a promise for that. Think of a ‘nice to have’ for the nation. There will be a promise for that. Think of (fill in the blank). There is a promise for that too!
And      when      you     are drenched in promises and think you cannot take any- more, think of Asa Banton’s singing, “… how can you come to a wet fete, and don’t expect for you to get wet? Because, Antigua and Barbuda will be a wet fete of promises. DJ! Run de track!
Wait … pull up … before we let you go, remember, when the promises are raining from the sky, make sure not to took up and open your mouth waiting to taste the sweet unfiltered promises on your tongue because it very likely that each shower has an ample batch of fertilizer mixed in. Now back to the Bouyon and the PMO crew.
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