I want to divert from answering questions this week to talk about a matter that is wrenching the hearts of our citizens. As we witness an alarming increase in crime, the fear for our safety, the lives of those we love and the future of children grows.
Every news report of another young life lost or another act of senseless violence hits us in the heart, reminding us that the safety and well-being of our children are at stake. The rising tide of crime in Antigua and Barbuda is a call to action for all of us.
We cannot stand idly by while our communities are threatened and our lives endangered. Are we doomed? We have to believe that we can get past this.
A lot of people are talking right now because everyone is affected. Today I want to speak specifically to parents. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, even powerless, in the face of such challenges. But as parents, you hold immense power in shaping the futures of our children.
The choices we make, the lessons we impart, and the support we offer can steer them away from the paths that lead to crime and gangs.
Here are seven practical tips for parents to help guide their children towards a life of positivity and purpose, and away from the destructive calling of crime:
Talk to them and listen to them. Create a home environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and feelings. Be an active listener, and talk about the dangers of crime and gang involvement openly. When your child knows they can talk to you about anything without judgment, they’re more likely to come to you when they’re in trouble or feeling peer pressure. If you don’t listen to them, someone else will. Trust me on that one.
Know their friends. Take an interest in who your child’s friends are and what they do together and let them bring the friends home so you can observe them. Encourage friendships with youth who have positive influences and are engaged in constructive activities. Friends play a significant role in shaping your child’s behaviour, so knowing who they’re spending time with can help you detect warning signs early.
Encourage extracurricular activities. I know in Antigua this can be expensive, but we can get creative. Some schools have programmes and some communities have free or low-cost programmes. Involve your child in sports, arts, or community service. These activities not only keep them busy but also provide them with a sense of belonging and achievement. Being part of a team or a group with positive goals can give them the self-esteem and confidence they need to resist negative influences.
Set clear boundaries. No “skinning teeth” when it comes to certain behaviours, attitudes and actions. Establish clear rules and expectations in your home. Let your child know the consequences of breaking these rules, and be consistent in enforcing them. Children need structure, and clear boundaries to help them understand what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. Even the Bible talks about not sparing the road and spoiling the child. A little discipline might hurt now, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Educate them about peer pressure. Teach your child about the different forms of peer pressure and how to handle it. Use your experiences, use the experiences of others, use the news, use whatever tools are necessary to tell them and show them what is not right for them and why. Let them tell you how they face peer pressure and what they see other young people facing and practice with them what they would say or do. Empower them to say no and to stand up for what is right, even when it’s hard.
Be a role model. Children often copy the behaviour of their parents, even without realising it. Sometimes after seeing something for a long time, it becomes normalised. Demonstrate the values you want to instill in your child—respect, responsibility, honesty, and kindness. Show them through your actions how to live a life of integrity and how to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence. This is perhaps the most important one.
Stay involved in their lives. Fathers, even if you and mom have broken up, stay engaged in your child’s life. Attend their school events, know what they’re doing online, and make time for them. The more involved you are, the more likely you’ll notice changes in behaviour that could indicate they’re at risk of falling into the wrong crowd. I know we are collectively fearful. While it’s natural to feel fear for the safety of our children. fear alone is not enough. We must take proactive steps to protect them. By fostering a strong, supportive home environment, we can equip our children with the tools they need to make positive choices.
The battle against crime is not just fought by law enforcement—it’s fought in our homes, in our communities, and in the hearts of every parent. We are not powerless. We have the strength to guide our children, to show them the right path, and to keep them safe. Please, ask for help if you are not able to handle your young person by yourself. Ask for help.
Remember, the loss of even one child to violence is a tragedy that ripples through our community. Let us all commit to doing our part to prevent such heartache, so that our children can grow up in a safer Antigua and Barbuda.
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